Brilliance to confusion
QUESTION: Masters, I used to be interested in everything. I studied mathematics to postgraduate level exploring the meaning of infinity. I developed my artistic side with art and music. I practiced t’ai ji and tried to apply the principles to resolving injustices in the world. However about ten years ago I developed paranoid schizophrenia. In an attempt to overcome it I began reading more and more mystical literature and made efforts to detach myself from my attachments. Now I do not see the point in anything. I am completely lost; my life is without meaning. They say love is the true purpose but I even question now if I know what that means. What do you suggest? ~George, UK
ANSWER: We suggest that you stop thinking so much, stop analyzing, stop micro-managing. Go to a quiet place and ask yourself: what am I feeling at this moment? Take those feelings and ask why they are present. They will lead you to questions and problems you have in your life at this time that you are running away from. Follow them to their source, which will be a series of actions, statements, rules, and regulations. Examine each and decide if you wish to hold on to these beliefs or if you can get rid of them and move on with your own feelings in place of someone else’s thoughts.
Your intellect has been both a blessing and a curse: a blessing because it has allowed you to function very well in the physical, ego-oriented world of right and wrong, black and white; a curse because it cuts out the individuality of your soul on its physical journey through life. The moving force of the soul’s journey is using freedom of choice to learn lessons on your own. You have been slave to the written word.
Even during your difficulties you turned to others’ written teachings and experiences to find your answers instead of going inside and working outward. Detachment is the act of not needing to be under the power of anything but your own feelings—such as detaching from the need to find all your answers from the thinking of other people as found in writings.
Bring yourself back into your life. When you can feel what you want in your life, choose to do it, and then follow through. You will be loving yourself in the action. Love is acceptance. Love is assuming responsibility for yourself and your decisions. Love is being. Love is living.